"A man came to me to complain that other people didn't behave correctly
toward him. People were inconsiderate, they didn't keep their word, they
took advantage of his good nature and so on. I asked him, 'Why do you
demand that others behave the way you prefer? The truth is, people always
behave the way they are, not according to your wishes. Do you see that the
problem lies in your unrealistic expectations?'
That man did a very intelligent thing. He went to work on his own mental
demands toward people. Instead of trying to change their behavior, he
altered his viewpoints about their behavior. He simply let people behave as
they wished, without wanting or expecting them to be any different. In
that healthy state he found peace.
That is a good example of how a receptive attitude toward a psychological
truth can solve a problem by dissolving its very cause. Where can you
receive fresh insight that will dissolve a problem?"
HOW TO AVOID MISTAKES AND SOLVE PROBLEMS
Chap. 14, p. 258 (Original version)
Chap. 14, p. 228 (Current version)
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